Mother has just left for Day care. The Bus comes later Mondays and the morning has half gone already. I feel a mental relief when she has finally gone. It’s not that I don’t want her around, it is that I don’t get much space and time to myself when she is around.
Mother doesn’t initiate, and if I suggest to her its time to get ready for bed, she can resist, feeling I’m telling her what to do. “Why shouldn’t she stay up watching TV?” her body language protests. I have to gently remind her that I have to stay up to assist get her ready for bed, and it would help me if we did it now, then I could relax, or go to bed earlier for an early start. Mother can watch TV or read as long as she likes once settled in her bed. This example is typical of a conflict in needs.
Mother, being an extrovert, doesn’t really understand my need for space. Her needs are opposite. Though I must admit she is not interested in being the social butterfly she used to be. Daily coping with basics takes all her energy, and is frustrating for her as she sees her dependence increasing through the ‘disease’. She does love to ‘chat’ though, constantly changing subjects as her focus and concentration changes. “She will enjoy her ‘club’ (as she calls it) today”, I think.
I make a call to the continence nurse with concerns around change in patterns and deterioration noticed since returning from Respite care. It was good to speak with her, bouncing off my concerns and clarifying my thoughts as we spoke. Mother doesn’t get the usual messages, due to her LBD blocking pathways, therefore it is most likely a UTI, which needs investigating first. Why didn’t I think of that, so obvious now. I note that I need to get a specimen to the Lab when Mother comes home.
I make a coffee and ponder, what shall I do now? It takes a while for my head to clear of ‘Mother concerns and responsibilities’. I look out at the day. The sky is blue, the sun is shining and my dog Jess is waiting on the decking for me to join her. I look around the house, it needs vacuuming, the washing is on I muse. The phone rings; I have an Alzheimers Committee meeting this pm, so take a mental note not to get side-tracked and forget it.
The day beckons, so I think I will just take a moment to enjoy my surroundings as I write this blog.
The heat is rising (22o C) and a cicada has began to loudly cackle on the Jacaranda tree beside me. The Jacaranda is just coming out in its mauve blossoms. Jess is happy to have my company and excitedly grabs a doggy biscuit, tossing it around in a game she plays, then settles down to munch on it. The cicada flies off and I hear it in nearby Titoki tree. The neighbours hen begins its usual morning clucking, announcing that it has laid an egg. The morning is quiet, traffic noise in the distance is quiet enough to be a distant hum. I hear the sea breeze beginning as the ground temperature rises. It gently brushes me, as if to quieten my busy thoughts. I make a mental list of things that need doing; the garden maintenance awaits. The windows need cleaning...Mother keeps commenting on cobwebs she notices on the outside of a window (or two). I need to replace my decking which is looking well cracked and worn. I usually spring clean this time of the year before Christmas...it awaits! I’m either at work or Mother is home with her ongoing needs I think, “I haven’t had the house to myself for days” and relax, “enjoy the moment of peace and quiet” I tell myself, beginning to feel refreshed already. A young tui starts up practising it’s beautiful call. I quietly appreciate the time to enjoy the setting and pray thankfully for these moments to appreciate the beauty of creation.
