I had been doing holiday relief in the Operating Theatre Post-Anaesthetic Recovery Suite, at my local hospital where I work, since the end of October. This was great during the time Mother had Cataract Surgery. (Cataract Story told in blog http://over60-motherandme.blogspot.com/ ). The week before Christmas I returned to my usual duties in the Intensive/ Coronary Care Unit, including working on Christmas Eve.
I had been expecting one of my married son’s & family to come on Christmas Day. They were planning to camp for their holidays, and suddenly decided to leave early (on Christmas Eve) so as not to miss out on their favourite spot. It was disappointing but also a relief, as Christmas ended up being very relaxed and quiet with just my husband, Mother and me.
I had read advice regarding care-giving was ‘not to take on too much’ so I didn’t feel guilty about being laid back over Christmas. Gone were the years I got caught up in the commercialism and stressed out trying to provide the ‘perfect Christmas’.
Having simple extras and treats for Mother was sufficient to add extra pleasure for her. Off course we had the Christmas tree up and Nativity scene by it as usual, with coloured lights, adding to the festive atmosphere. Presents were put under the tree adding the mystery and excitement (not just for Mother I add) that catered for the ‘inner child’ in all of us.
I did of course remember to put out a small thank-you gift for each of the carer-support workers to acknowledge my appreciation of their help, which enabled me to work.
I had put in for a holiday week off between Christmas and New Year, being Mother’s first year with me; I expected some family may like to visit. The invitation had been emailed to all. This was one of the rare Christmas’ I was not working, during the years (from 1985) that I had worked in the ICU/ CCU. In NZ it is common for a lot of businesses to close during this week, which enabled many to have a full week off between the statutory holidays.
My youngest brother and his wife came and stayed during this time. It was great, as they spent time with us, they could learn about Mother’s condition. Also Mother was so happy and proud to have some of her family around her. They also were a great help.
How did we keep entertained when the usual going to the beach in the hot NZ summer was not practical? I got out the Wii Sports, Fitness and Balance board games. Mother thoroughly enjoyed watching the hilarious activity as competition grew among those present. Playing inside games kept us out of the 32o C heat. We did go out, taking mother, to an air conditioned large department store once, and visited a nearby relative. Otherwise it was a fun filled Christmas at home and very relaxing.
My visitors left the day before I returned to work on night shift. Mother had been out of her usual routine of a daily nap, not wanting to miss a thing. Tiredness and signs of her symptom pattern returning showed the evening before. It was timely to get mother back into her usual quieter routine and in couple of days she was improving. We not only survived Christmas – New Year, but thoroughly enjoyed what could have been a very stressful time.
Lessons learnt:
· Keep it simple and be realistic.
· There is no point focusing on what it ‘should/ ought’ to be like.
· Keep up mother’s usual routine (i.e. showering, dressing, meds and meal patterns).
· Continue carer support throughout the festive season.
· Mother’s symptoms appeared when she was very tired through the extra activities and missing her usual naps.
· Returning to work is a lovely mental break and change from ‘Mother duties’.
· Family who are receptive to learning about Mother’s symptoms are a huge emotional support.
