Mother collapsed again, this time at home while sitting on her walker. I lifted her onto the floor and rang her emergency alarm. Mother was taken to the hospital ED and investigated. She took 5 hrs in ED to come right enough to return home. The outcome of investigations and discussion including Mother's GP (who knew her well) were to inform Mother and myself that her Aortic Stenosis had got to the point that collapses would become more common and Mother would take longer to recover each time (if she did). She was damaging her heart (like having a heart attack) each time she collapsed. There was no need to return to ED with collapses. Mother's blood tests showed she was otherwise healthy, and was obviously being looked after well. The ED Dr was worried about how much support I had, and said she would refer Mother to the Palliative Care team.
We left the hospital and went home. I felt stunned. Mother settled into her bed and slept. She continued to sleep most of the time and when awake, was tired and weak, I observed, just like others were after a bad heart attack. I was in shock and worried about leaving Mother alone when at work. I took an annual leave or two, as we were quiet, but eventually had to work. I got my daughter-in-law to sit with her till my husband arrived home, wondering if Palliative Care support would enable me to continue working. I waited for the assessment.
Mother's Dr came and saw her at home. He immediately listened to her heart, nodded knowingly, confirming the severity of her Aortic Stenosis. He also noted a deterioration in Mother's dementia, which was also associated with damage from lack of brain perfusion from the collapse. He explained gently that the event of sudden death was likely any day up to under two years, sooner rather than later. Safety was a concern and he wisely advised me it was time to stop being a nurse and be a daughter. I immediately said I was prepared to stop work to be there for Mother, knowing that was why I took on her care.
I saw my Charge Nurse, requesting unpaid leave to care for Mother's final stage of life. She repeated what Mother's Dr had said about now was the time to be a daughter and that I took mother on for such a time as this and immediately released me from work. I was relieved to have 'special leave' as my position would be filled by a temporary reliever, allowing me to return to work once Mother died. I had to use up my annual leave first, then apply for a Carer's Benefit, which is a minimal amount. The budget would be tight, but I didn't care. To be able to be there for Mother at such a time as this was important to me. Mother was so happy and relieved once she knew I was going to be home every day with her to look after her. Who knows what the future holds or how long I will be off work. I do intend to return to work and make up for this time off in the future, even though close to retirement age, I love my job.
