Mother is now 87 yrs old and will hopefully reach 88yrs in five months time. She really wants to make her 90th birthday, and we hope to have a big family gathering for this.
The problem is that Mother is on a slow pathway of decline. She has multiple medical issues which are at maximum level of treatment and accepting that is difficult to come to terms with.
My desire is to be there for mother until she dies. I do not want her to be alone or with strangers when she finally goes. I am realistic to know that these end of life events cannot be planned, as the episode at the hair-dressers showed me. http://over60-motherandme.blogspot.com/ tells the story.
Mother has Aortic Stenosis that is inoperable and deteriorating. The affect of this is like someone putting their finger over the end of a flowing garden hose; back pressure builds! In Mother's case the back-pressure dilates and weakens her heart muscle as it struggles to pump against the obstruction. This causes a chain reaction of fluid building from congestion in her lungs. Mother then gets breathless with heart failure. The aorta is very sensitive and her blood pressure can fluctuate from low to high and it is very hard to get the balance right with her complex medication.
Mother's Dr is very supportive. He encouraged me to monitor her Blood Pressure at home so we could work out what was happening. With that and measuring her pulse and oxygen levels with a pulse-oxometer, her G.P and I have been able to tweak her medication to get an optimal range of blood pressure. (I.e. high enough to perfuse Mother's brain, and low enough to avoid severe heart failure. It has been tricky because her dementia symptoms also confuse the picture with 'funny' head and other physical fluctuations.
In spite of the best medical oversight, Mother continues her slow decline. He pointed out to me that her respiratory centre in her brain is now affected enough to be intermittently stopping breathing (Cheynne-Stokes breathing) pattern, even during the day. Her Dr has made himself available to see Mother any time we feel we need to, which Mother and I very much appreciate. The intermittent breathing pattern, which Mother is oblivious of, can cause her to suddenly feel panic and hyperventilate if she starts a physical activity (like standing & walking) when she hasn't been breathing. The sudden increase in oxygen demand when levels are dropping triggers this. She needs reassurance to sit quietly and then it passes quickly.
I wonder what is ahead and hope prayerfully that we can provide a quality of care that aids Mother making her 90th birthday as so desired.
